Why People Rarely Give You Compliments - Social Anxiety Advice

Why People Rarely Give You Compliments

Have you ever done something really well… so well that you expected to get some praise for it… but in the end you received no compliments?

This really stinks. Especially when you know you’ve done something really well and you know you’ve surpassed your own expectations.

This used to happen to me all the time.

When I got good grades in school, I expected my parents to give me some praise.

And I almost never got any. Most of the time good grades were expected from me. But whenever I got home with a bad grade I always had to deal with critique.

And it was no different at work.

Whenever I’ve done my job really well and I felt bloody proud of my accomplishment, there was no one there to give me praise. It was expected from me to do an outstanding job.

And of course, when I didn’t do well I had to listen to my boss’s critique.

But what about all those times when you’ve not just met but surpassed other people’s expectations?

Why don’t you get praise when they know you’ve done great?

Well, the answer is simple.

Most people don’t like to give praise.

Some are afraid to lose their status if they praised you, so they don’t give you compliments.

And others simply don’t want to give you compliments because they are afraid that you will become complacent.

And some are simply afraid to lose you. They think that if they told you you’re great, you’d lose interest in them and run away.

As you can see, people don’t give you compliments because of their own fears.

So don’t get upset when you don’t get praise.

Just pat yourself on the back and tell yourself you’re great. Because you really are.

And make sure to reward yourself for every accomplishment, no matter how big or small it is.

Give yourself a bubble bath if that’s what you like.

Just treat yourself. 🙂

And have a wonderful day!

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Christine Anderson

Great advice Andre. I think I’m so “needy” of approval because as a child I barely got any compliments at all. It was expected of me to be nice and bring home good grades. When I did it, I didn’t get a pat on my back. So that’s probably why I need compliments so much even today when I’m fully grown up.

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    Andre Sossi

    Hi Christine. One thing that helped me a lot was accepting myself the way that I was. This helped me break free from the need to please other people to be accepted. I need to accept myself first. Hope this helps. 🙂

    Reply

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