Why You Can’t Overcome Social Anxiety With Affirmations - Social Anxiety Advice

Why You Can’t Overcome Social Anxiety With Affirmations

If you’re at least a little bit interested in personal growth you’ve already heard of positive affirmations. They’ve been around for decades but in the last couple of years they’ve become popular again. Ever since the movie The Secret came out everyone has been talking about law of attraction and positive thinking. All sorts of gurus now try to sell you on this concept yet none of them ever saw any real results doing positive affirmations.

Affirmations simply don’t work and there’s a very good reason why…

Affirmations are a direct attempt to shift your life in a particular direction. It’s a declaration or statement of purpose that is NOT consistent with your current reality.

Affirmations were designed to “force” a new reality into existence and this simply doesn’t work.

You can’t just say that you’re socially confident and instantly become that.

Even if you do it several times a day for months, without skipping a day, you still won’t become socially confident.

No matter how much you try to convince yourself into believing that you’re just the opposite of what you are, it just won’t happen.

The problem is that positive affirmations are often in direct disagreement with your beliefs and who you are right now.

You have decades of evidence, based on specific events that happened in your life, that prove just the opposite of what you want to accomplish with affirmations.

And these beliefs that you’ve formed so far, always have the last word.

beliefs-map-of-the-worldThese beliefs are your map of the world.

They represent your reality and no matter how skewed and unrealistic your map is, it’s still YOUR map of the world and as such represents your reality.

So, when you try to replace your beliefs with new ones that are in complete disagreement with your current beliefs, you are destined to fail.


Because your subconscious mind tries to protect your old beliefs.

Your subconscious wants to keep your old beliefs because they represent your reality and your world could collapse if your reality became unreal all of a sudden.

You see, your subconscious mind has your best interests in mind.

It wants to protect you at all costs and since right now it believes that social situations are dangerous, it won’t let go of that belief just like that.

So, no matter how much you try to consciously convince yourself that social situations are safe, your subconscious will do it’s best to sabotage your efforts. And it will win every single time because it’s way more powerful than your conscious mind.

Your subconscious has only one main goal, which is your survival.

As long as your subconscious mind believes that your survival is endangered in social situations, it will keep warning you about that danger.

And these warnings come in the form of anxiety and the symptoms you experience when you get anxious.

That’s why it’s impossible to overcome social anxiety with positive affirmations.

They simply get trumped by your subconscious mind that want’s to protect you and your current reality.

So in order to defeat social anxiety you need to first bring your conscious and subconscious mind to an agreement that being socially confident is a safe and desirable state to be in.

Only after your subconscious mind agrees that being confident in social situations isn’t dangerous, you can finally make progress and beat your social anxiety disorder.

So how do you do that?

How To Get Your Subconscious Mind To Help You Overcome Social Anxiety

How do you get your subconscious mind to realize that you don’t need your social anxiety in order to feel safe?

I know that it sounds silly, but you have social anxiety for a reason. You have social anxiety because it protects you from getting hurt.

It protects you from getting embarrassed, laughed at, rejected, and frowned upon.

Your social phobia keeps you away from situations that could get you hurt.

It keeps you away from situations that aren’t safe.

Unfortunately, your subconscious doesn’t make a difference between real danger and perceived danger.

Consequently, it believes that there’s danger in social situations.

As you can see, your subconscious needs to be convinced that there’s nothing life-threatening about social events.

Now how do you convince it to believe that?

Well, your subconscious runs on your beliefs. Your beliefs determine what you do and how you act in social situations.

So in order to overcome social anxiety you need to first neutralize your negative limiting beliefs that hinder you right now.

You need to neutralize the beliefs that make you feel unsafe in social situations.

So, how do you do that?

Well, there are many ways to neutralize limiting beliefs and some are better than others.

Now, what I’ve found out is that emotional freedom technique works best.

I’ve tried affirmation and they didn’t work… and now you also know why.

And I’ve tried challenging my limiting beliefs and that didn’t work either.

Challenging your beliefs is a conscious process that usually gets beaten by your subconscious.

However, emotional freedom technique actually allows you to neutralize your emotions and limiting beliefs on both levels…. conscious and subconscious.

It allows you to neutralize the beliefs that are responsible for your anxiety kicking in whenever you find yourself in a social situation that you can’t control.

Once your limiting beliefs lose their power and your subconscious mind doesn’t perceive social situations as dangerous anymore, the anxiety is gone.

Your subconscious doesn’t need to fire the fight, flight, freeze response anymore.

It doesn’t need to warn you about danger anymore because it doesn’t perceive social situations as dangerous anymore.

And that’s how you beat social anxiety disorder.

Now if you’d like to learn more about how to overcome social anxiety, you might want to check this out.

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 2 comments

I agree totally with this podcast, the missing element being how to stop your fight-flight response – namely realise that you are constantly tensing your muscles and not breathing correctly. Pay attention to how often you do this and you will be surprised – you can learn to overcome this by relaxing your body and learning to breathe whenever your symptoms arise. Be warned – it will take some time to learn and master this.

    Andre Sossi

    Hey Imran. Thanks for your comment and sharing your tip on how to take back control into your hands once your fight-flight-freeze response kicks in. Every technique that helps you relax will help and this can be breathing correctly, progressive muscle relaxation, or something else completely. I’ve found that breathing and EFT work incredibly well.

    Now, the long-term solution is to reprogram your subconscious mind that these situations aren’t really dangerous. Once you’Re able to achieve that, it won’t fire the fight-flight-freeze response anymore and consequently you won’T get anxious.

    Once again, thanks for sharing your tip.


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