I have a problem of sweating whenever I am in a crowd
I have a problem of sweating when ever I am in a crowd and when conducting seminar, its so bad that I always tend to avoid them at all cost, and I spend sleepless night prior to the day of the presentation. I am also very self conscious , feeling like everybody is watching me and laughing at me and I always feel I am not capable of doing anything right in my life. I feel vulnerable. I am 39 years all, Is there any way out for me.
First of all, yes there is a way out.
I felt like that myself. I never conducted a seminar but I took part in workshops and seminars where attendees had to make presentations and that scared the hell out of me. People around me were asking me why I was so pale because I lost all of my color before the presentation. And on stage I got all red.
This is the result of having social anxiety and low self-esteem. Understanding this is actually the way out because you now know the cause of this and once you know the cause, you can remove the cause.
I will try not to complicate things here…
Self-esteem has 2 components. One component is about believing in yourself and your own ability that you can meet any challenge in life. It’s not the confidence that you can do anything BUT the confidence that you can learn and obtain knowledge that will help you deal with any challenge.
The second component is about self-acceptance. This is about believing that you DESERVE to be happy… that you deserve to loved, accepted, respected.
I believe that herein lies your problem. You are very self-conscious and you feel like you’re not capable of doing anything right. Your self-esteem is not where it could be and so you get anxious around other people because you feel the need to perform.
All this is a result of having limiting beliefs about yourself and other people.
Please take this as well intended advice. Most people feel threatened when they hear about limiting beliefs. They don’t believe that they have them because they feel like the ultimate truth to them.
BUT we all have our own belief systems that contain empowering, neutral and limiting beliefs. Some have more and some have less limiting beliefs…. BUT all these beliefs feel like the truth because they represent YOUR reality.
– I’m not good enough
– People will laugh at me if I say something wrong
– I need to be perfect to be accepted
These are just some of the beliefs that mess with your self-esteem and social anxiety.
The SOLUTION is to eliminate these limiting beliefs. Once you no longer have them, your anxiety doesn’t get triggered anymore.
There are many ways to deal with limiting beliefs. One way is through cognitive behavioral therapy.
In my experience, this isn’t the best option because it’s a slow process and many people give up before they see any results.
I have found that you need to address these limiting beliefs on a different level and that’s what I teach in my Social Confidence Decoded course.
This is where we use a combination of CBT and “re-framing” to eliminate your limiting beliefs and replace them with better ones. This is what allowed me to overcome social anxiety a couple of years ago.
Wish you all the best,