How To Overcome Social Anxiety
Does social anxiety control your life? It doesn’t have to! Here you’re going to find out, how to overcome social anxiety and build rock-solid social confidence, so you can do your daily activities without getting tense and nervous.
What you’re about to learn is very different from what you might have seen or tried before. Unlike other articles that only tell you what you already know, this one will actually show you the steps you need to take to beat social anxiety.
Overcoming social anxiety doesn’t have to be difficult
It doesn’t have to take years of cognitive behavioral therapy to see some real improvement.
And you don’t have to go through stressful exposure therapy in order to “toughen” yourself up.
All it takes is the right approach that addresses and removes the root cause of your social anxiety.
Once the root cause is gone, your anxiety doesn’t get triggered anymore.
If you want to learn how to overcome social anxiety you need to first understand why you even have it…
Right now you probably get anxious in social situations, especially in situations where you could get yourself embarrassed or socially rejected.
When you find yourself in such a situation you get to experience different symptoms of social anxiety.
Your palms might get sweaty. Your heart might start racing. You might start sweating or maybe even blushing. You might start experiencing the unpleasant feelings in your stomach and your mind might go blank.
These are the most common symptoms of social anxiety.
Now, why do you think you get to experience these symptoms?
Why do you get anxious in social situations?
Well, the answer is pretty simple.
You get anxious because your brain is working too hard to protect you from getting hurt…
There is a special part in your brain called amygdala that is responsible for everything related to fear.
This amygdala functions as a smoke detector. Every time it senses a possible danger it fires an alarm to warn you about that danger. Your brain chemistry, specifically your levels of serotonin change and you start to experience the unpleasant symptoms of social anxiety.
These symptoms function as a warning sign and are here to warn you about the possible danger that you’re being exposed to.
In general, this is a good response because it allows you to remove yourself from that threat as quickly as possible.
This response helps you protect yourself from getting seriously hurt or even killed.
If you encounter a dangerous animal there’s a real danger of something bad happening to you and your brain tries to protect you.
When you have social anxiety the amygdala works too hard to protect you from getting hurt…
It tries to warn you about the possible danger even in situations that are not really life-threatening.
It warns you about situations where you could get emotionally hurt because it doesn’t perceive any difference between physical and emotional pain.
When you have social anxiety, you’re afraid of getting yourself embarrassed, getting laughed at, and getting rejected.
Experiencing these negative scenarios, causes us to feel pain. More specifically, it causes us to feel emotional pain.
The amygdala doesn’t want you to feel that pain. It doesn’t want you to get emotionally hurt and that’s why it tries to warn you about a possible danger of a social situation.
This warning comes in the form of symptoms of social anxiety.
The good news is that this kind of behavior of your brain is a learned behavior which means that you can change it.
In order to change how your brain reacts to social situations, we need to understand why do we perceive social situations as dangerous.
Why Does Our Brain Perceive Social Situations As Dangerous Or Unsafe?
During the childhood years and adolescence, we’ve experienced lots of different emotional situations.
Based on how these situations made us feel, we’ve developed certain beliefs about ourselves and about other people. Some of these beliefs are positive some are neutral and some are limiting and cause us to get anxious in social situations.
All these beliefs feel like the truth to us because they represent our reality.
Our beliefs represent who we are.
Our beliefs represent our identity and that’s why even limiting beliefs feel like the ultimate truth to us.
Here are just a couple of beliefs that can cause social anxiety:
- I’m not good enough.
- I have to be perfect in order to be loved or accepted.
- People would disapprove of me if I were to be myself.
- I must always look strong and confident.
- I must get other people’s approval.
These are all negative limiting beliefs that cause social anxiety.
These and similar limiting beliefs about ourselves and other people now cause the amygdala to fire the alarm and warn us about the emotional pain that we could experience in certain social situations.
Limiting beliefs are the triggers of our social anxiety
When we eliminate these triggers, when we eliminate the negative limiting beliefs that make us feel unsafe in social situations, there’s nothing left there that could trigger the anxiety again.
Our amygdala doesn’t have to warn us about perceived danger anymore because it doesn’t perceive social situations as dangerous anymore. Consequently, our social anxiety is gone as well.
This means that we can overcome social anxiety by eliminating the negative limiting beliefs that cause us to get anxious in the first place.
Does that make sense?
Can you see, how the limiting beliefs that you have cause you to get anxious?
Can you see, how eliminating these beliefs also eliminates the need to get anxious in social situations?
When you eliminate the limiting beliefs you also eliminate social anxiety.
How To Overcome The Limiting Beliefs That Cause Your Social Anxiety
If we want to overcome the limiting beliefs that cause us to get anxious, we first need toidentify these beliefs This is the first step because we need to be aware of what needs to be changed before we can change it, right?
If we don’t know what needs to change, we also don’t know where to start and what to do.
We get stuck.
Consequently we feel frustrated and then we end up doing nothing about it.
We end up with another unsuccessful attempt to change something and that makes us even less likely to try something new the next time we get to the point where we can’t deal with social anxiety anymore, right?
We don’t want that.
We want to have clarity.
We need clarity in order to be able to act.
So we need to identify the limiting beliefs that are causing our social anxiety.
Most Common Limiting Beliefs That Cause Social Anxiety
We might have a belief that we’re not good enough.
We might have a belief that we have to be perfect to be loved or accepted.
We might have a belief that we should always look strong and confident.
We might also have a belief that we must get everyone’s approval.
We might even have a belief that people would disapprove of us if we were to be ourselves.
Or we might have a belief that we are not lovable.
Or a belief that if we did something wrong, people would laugh at us or talk bad about us behind our backs.
We probably have a combination of these beliefs or some additional ones that are also holding us back in life.
The point is that these beliefs now cause you to get anxious in social situations.
These beliefs put you under pressure because you need to perform or otherwise you could be in danger of making your social life even worse.
It’s the limiting beliefs that make your amygdala fire the fight-flight-freeze response in social situations.
Does that make sense?
Do you see the connection between your beliefs and your social anxiety?
A limiting belief that you could get emotionally hurt in a social situation, causes the amygdala to warn you about that danger, so that you could remove yourself from that danger.
This warning comes in the form of social anxiety and it’s symptoms.
It now becomes obvious that the solution to your social anxiety lies in your belief system, right?!
In order to overcome social anxiety you need to eliminate your negative, limiting beliefs and replace them with better ones.
You need to replace them with beliefs that will empower you to be yourself without the fear of embarrassing yourself and getting emotionally hurt.
You see, when you eliminate the negative limiting beliefs that make you feel unsafe in social situations, there’s nothing left there that could trigger your anxiety again, right?
Your amygdala doesn’t have to warn you about the possible danger anymore because it doesn’t perceive social situations as dangerous anymore.
Consequently your anxiety is gone as well and that’s how you overcome social anxiety – by eliminating the triggers that make you feel somewhat unsafe and uneasy in social situations.
So how do we do that? How do we overcome our limiting beliefs?
Well, imagine a belief being like a tabletop. Just like every tabletop has legs that support it, so does every belief.
Let me give you an example.
Let’s say we have a belief that we should never show our weaknesses… our shortfalls, OK?
Now this belief has legs that support it. These legs are events from our past that support that belief… events that make this belief the ultimate truth to us.
Now, these events could be anything.
Maybe we showed a weakness in school and a school bully jumped on that and bullied us for many years because of that.
Maybe there was something else.
The point is that these events support our limiting beliefs.
So in order to eliminate these limiting beliefs, we need to chop the legs of these beliefs.
We need to take away the power from these events that support these beliefs.
And we do this by reframing those events and by looking at them from a different perspective that allows us to see that what happened then doesn’t really mean that we should feel like that today… it doesn’t need to affect us anymore.
What that bully did to us in school is in the past. When we realize that we weren’t bullied because of our weakness but because the bully had his own issues with self-esteem and probably his parents… then this event loses it’s power and the belief that we shouldn’t’ show our weaknesses becomes weaker. And when we realize that there were times when we showed our weakness but nothing bad happened as a result of that, this limiting belief becomes even weaker and eventually collapses altogether.
The good news is that we don’t need to work on every single event that supports our limiting beliefs.
The more legs we chop the weaker these beliefs become and the easier it becomes to replace them with better – empowering beliefs.
Does that make sense? Can you see how eliminating the negative limiting beliefs, eliminates the need of your amygdala to warn you about a possible danger of a social situation?
There’s no need for you to get anxious anymore because you no longer believe that you could get emotionally hurt.
Now, when we eliminate negative limiting beliefs we create a gap in our belief systems and this gap needs to be populated with new – empowering beliefs.
Well, because if we don’t pick empowering belief and reinforce them, we are very likely to fall back to our old habits and recreate the old, limiting beliefs that used to hold us back and caused our social anxiety.
So in order to prevent recreating and adopting the old beliefs, we need to adopt new beliefs.
And the obvious thing to do is to choose positive, empowering beliefs to have instead, right?!
Now since we know how to deconstruct a limiting belief we also know how to construct a positive belief, right?!
Beliefs are like tabletops and events are the legs that support that tabletop.
So when we pick positive beliefs that will support us in social situations, we need to also reinforce these beliefs.
We need to look for events that happened to us, that were positive and could actually support our new, empowering beliefs…. These are social events where positive things happened to us.
Now if you can’t find any positive things that happened to you, you can look for events where nothing bad happened even though you were anxious about them beforehand.
You can also borrow from other people. Maybe there are people, you look up to, who are socially savvy… people who know how to act in social situations and always seem to have fun around other people. You can borrow from their experience to build legs that support your new beliefs.
It’s a process that requires some work but it’s a process that gets you results.
It’s an incredibly rewarding process that results in living a very different… much more exciting life than we live as socially anxious people.
It’s a process that can make a real positive difference in your life.
You now know how to deal with your limiting beliefs. You know how to eliminate the triggers that cause your social anxiety. And you know that once you eliminate these triggers, you also eliminate the anxiety.
You know that your amygdala causes you to get anxious in social situations and you also know what to do to prevent your amygdala from firing the fight-flight-freeze response in social situations. You now know how to overcome social anxiety.
Knowing what you know now, do you feel more educated about the process of overcoming social anxiety?
Do you think you know more about your brain and how your belief system affects how you act in social situations?
Can you see yourself using what I showed you today to help you build your social confidence and overcome social anxiety?
Would you say that what I showed you today was valuable to you?
Would you like to go even deeper and further on how to execute this process so you can start building your social confidence and overcome your social anxiety as soon as possible?
Now, I think we can agree that what I showed here today was very valuable and I really hope you’re going to use it but I’m afraid that if I leave you with just that, you’re not gonna go and create the change in your life that you want and deserve. You need more than that.
If you like what I’ve shared with you so far, you’ll love what I’ve got for you next.
You see, it is with great pleasure to introduce to you the Social Anxiety Away program. It’s a
step-by-step approach for overcoming social anxiety and building social confidence that allows you to function normally and without unnecessary fears in any social situation imaginable.
Social Anxiety Away is a video course where I explain every step in detail so you know exactly what to do, when to do it and how to do it to beat social anxiety. It’s where I go deeper on the process that I showed you today, so you can start working on your belief system as soon as you can. You will identify the limiting beliefs that are responsible for your social anxiety and then you will eliminate these beliefs and replace them with better ones that will allow you to stay calm and collected in any social situation that makes you anxious right now.
It also includes worksheets that you can print out and use so you can systematically approach overcoming social anxiety and make steady progress in the right direction.
Also when you sign up for the Social Anxiety Away program today, you get a communication skills course as a bonus. Now let me tell you why this is important.
You see, lack of communication skills can cause the anxiety when we’re around other people. We focus on trying to come up with something to say, but we end up with an empty head, eventually saying nothing. Sometimes, the prospect of having a conversation with someone affects us so much, that we do everything that we can to avoid that situation altogether.
Well, that’s not good because this reinforces our belief that we’re bad communicators.
That’s why I’ve included this Communications skills course as a bonus.
You’ll learn how to become comfortable talking with other people no matter what their social status is. You’ll feel comfortable talking with your superiors and people you find intimidating right now. You’ll even feel comfortable talking to people who you find attractive…
I’ll show you how to start a conversation with almost anyone, so you don’t have to wait for other people to come to you and start a conversation with you. When we’re forced to wait on other people to initiate a conversation with us and we’re bad at giving signs of being approachable, we’re basically sentenced to a pretty lonely and boring life. This bonus course will help you with that.
You’ll also learn how to keep the conversation going, so you don’t have to deal with awkward pauses that make us so self-conscious. You’ll learn what to talk about and how to keep the conversation going for as long as you want to.
Now, sometimes we engage in conversations with people who are “emotional vampires”, right?! People who drain our energy. So, I’ll also show you how to politely end a conversation and move on.
Another thing that I think you’ll find very helpful is the lesson on eye-contact. Where to look during conversations and for how long to keep eye-contact. These are the things that often occupy our thoughts and unfortunately this makes us stop listening, which again makes the conversation harder. That’s why I’ve included a very interesting lesson on eye-contact that will help you deal with this problem for good.
Now isn’t it great that you get this bonus course for free when you go to socialanxietyaway.com/special to sign up?
Now in addition to Communication skills course you also get the Confidence on Demand mini course.
You see, overcoming social anxiety is a process. The sooner you start it, the sooner you’ll see the results. But it’s still a process that you have to go through and your social confidence will grow over time.
But sometimes we can’t wait and we need a confidence boost right away… you know, when you have a job interview or when you want to talk to someone you find attractive… or in any other situation that requires you to perform at your best…. You need that extra confidence, right?!
In this bonus course I give you 3 very effective techniques for boosting your confidence in just minutes.
You will try them out and you will pick the one you find most effective for you. Then you’ll use this technique in situations where you need that boost of confidence.
And you get them as a free bonus when you sign up for Social Anxiety Away program at socialanxietyaway.com/special
You probably want to know if this is something you can include in your daily schedule. Here’s what I know… The first thing that I know is that you can make time for things that are worthwhile. In fact, you’re here right now, so I’m sure you have some time and I’m sure you think that overcoming social anxiety would be a worthwhile achievement, right?!.
Well, time is the only thing that is given out equally to each and everyone in the world. There’s nothing else so evenly and fairly distributed as time.
It’s not how much time you have, it’s what you do with the time that you have that matters.
So, think about it… could you find 20 minutes a day for just a couple of weeks to work on overcoming your social anxiety and building your social confidence?
Think about it… how many limiting beliefs could you remove in a month?
How much more confident could you become in just a couple of weeks if you devoted just 20 minutes a day to building your social confidence and overcoming your social fears?
Do you think that you would be more or less anxious in social situations if you were consistently working on overcoming social anxiety?
You just need to allow yourself to give it a go and do this for yourself.
If you want to know exactly how to overcome social anxiety by eliminating the negative limiting beliefs that trigger your anxiety right now, you might want to take my online course, Social Anxiety Away.
Inside the course you will find the 4-step process that you will go through to beat your social anxiety and build the social confidence you need, so you can finally start living like anyone else who doesn’t have social anxiety.
Use the momentum that you have right now…
Right now, you are actively looking for a solution for your social anxiety. You are motivated to finally make that change that will allow you to function normally around other people.
Use this motivation to your advantage.
It’s too easy to procrastinate and wait for better times but this kind of attitude gets us nowhere. We get stuck and we all know how hard it is to get unstuck again.
So, use this momentum and take action.